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what a football game between the vikings and saints but i havent seen so many mistakes since election day
which animal eats more sweet things but not get diabetes
a:an ant
A duck walks into a bar and walks up to the bar man
Duck: Do you got any bread?
Bar man: No, sorry.
A few minutes later
Duck: Do you got any bread?
Bar man: Nope.
Duck: Do you got any bread?
Bar man: Like I said before, I got no bread.
A few minutes later
Duck: You got any bread?
Bar man: I have no rotten bread!!!
Duck: So, you got any bread?
Bar man: If you ask that one more time, I will nail your bill to that bar over there!!!
A few minutes later
Duck: You got any nails?
Bar man: NO!!!!!!!!!
Duck: Hmmmmm…….. You got any bread?
the guy said to the other guy did you want to snack on chicken brests and the other guy said no i do not want to snack on chicken boobs
All butthe last three are by Vladimir Kush. See here: http://onlyfunnyjokes.com/bestoftheweb/2007/03/11/the-best-surreal-art-that-would-do-salvador-dali-proud/
Oops. Wrong page. I was talking about the surreal stuff on this page: http://onlyfunnyjokes.com/bestoftheweb/2007/03/11/the-best-surreal-art-that-would-do-salvador-dali-proud/
3 Guys are in a cafe.
The first guy says I have the smallest arm in the world
The second guy says I have the smallest head in the world
The third guy says I have the smallest dick in the world
They all go to the Guinness Book of World records
The first guy comes back and says I really have the smallest arm in the world
The seconds guy returns and says I have the smallest head in the world
The third guy comes back and angrily says WHO THE FUCK IS JUSTIN BEIBER!!
a man is married
knock knock
whos there
doc
docter who
how do you no my name
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AVjlbl-Ntno
A cute conversation
on the phone of a 16
year-old girl to her
mom.
GIRL: Mom, I have
started loving a boy.
MOM: What? How old
is he? What does he
do?
GIRL: He is five
months old happily
kickin’ in my
stomach !!!
jovial land…!!! a new sms service, here u can get funny jokes, quotations, updates etc if you wanna join it…
contact on this number
name: taha
0333-8805507
jovial land…!!! a new sms service, here u can get funny jokes, quotations, updates etc if you wanna join it…
contact on this number
name: taha
0333-8805507
That’s pretty exciting news and I really hope more people get to read this.
AMAZING STORY… A mother passing by her daughter’s bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then she saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed, “Mom.” With the worst premonition, she opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:
Dear Mom: It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing you. I had to elope with my new boyfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you. I’ve been finding real passion with Ahmed and he is so nice-even with all his piercings, tattoos, beard, and his motorcycle clothes. But it’s not only the passion Mom, I’m pregnant and Ahmed said that we will be very happy.
He already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. He wants to have many more children with me and that’s now one of my dreams too. Ahmed taught me that marijuana doesn’t really hurt anyone and we’ll be growing it for us and trading it with his friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we’ll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Ahmed can get better; he sure deserves it!!
Don’t worry Mom, I’m 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I’m sure we’ll be back to visit so you can get to know your grand children. Your daughter, Judith…
PS: Mom, none of the above is true. I’m over at the neighbor’s house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that’s in my desk center drawer. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home
You can’t put a price tag on love. But if you could, I’d wait for it to go on sale.
-Jarod Kintz
jokes of the day
niceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. maxxxxxxxxxxxxaa