From an email forward…An interesting description of the various signs in the zodiac, minus the threats of bad luck if not forwarded :)
VIRGO – The One that Waits
Dominant in relationships. Someone loves them right now. Always wants the last word. Caring. Smart. Loud. Loyal. Easy to talk to. Everything you ever wanted. Easy to please. The one and only.
Continue reading ‘The Zodiac – Whats your sign? One liner personality descriptions in the zodiac’
Archive for the 'Whatever' Category
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Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire?”
Millionaire: “I owe everything to my wife.”
Interviewer: “Wow, she must be some woman. What were you before you married her?”
Millionaire: “A Billionaire”
A man and a dog were going down the street. The man rode, yet walked. What was the dog’s name?
Yet.
A man had two sons and named them both Ed. How come?
Two Eds (heads) are better than one.
At what time do most people go to the dentist?
At tooth-hurty (2:30).
Can you spell a composition with two letters?
SA (essay).
Can you spell a pretty girl with two letters?
QT (cutey).
Can you spell soft and slow with two letters?
EZ.
Can you spell very happy with three letters?
XTC (ecstasy).
Do moths cry?
Sure. Haven’t you ever seen a mothball (bawl) ?
How can you prove that a horse has six legs?
A horse has four legs (forelegs) in front and two behind.
How can you spell chilly with two letters?
IC (icy) .
Caller: Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?
Operator: I’m sorry, sir, I don’t understand.
Caller: On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?
An optimist sees the best in the world, while a pessimist sees only the worst. An optimist finds the positive in the negative, and a pessimist can only find the negative in the positive.
For example, an avid duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog. His search ended when he found a dog that could actually walk on water to retrieve a duck. Shocked by his find, he was sure none of his friends would ever believe him.
He decided to try to break the news to a friend of his, a pessimist by nature, and invited him to hunt with him and his new dog.
As they waited by the shore, a flock of ducks flew by. they fired, and a duck fell. The dog responded and jumped into the water. The dog, however, did not sink but instead walked across the water to retrieve the bird, never getting more than his paws wet. This continued all day long; each time a duck fell, the dog walked across the surface of the water to retrieve it.
The pessimist watched carefully, saw everything, but did not say a single word.
On the drive home the hunter asked his friend, “Did you notice anything unusual about my new dog?”
“Yes, I sure did,” responded the pessimist. “He can’t swim.”