It seem’s bad jobs aren’t so hard to find…from the Great Wall to the Berlin Wall, i.e. from China to Germany. Guess it’s all a matter of perspective at the end of the day! What do YOU want out of life? The photos are from a powerpoint presentation sent to us – the photo below could possibly be from an ad in Germany.
Also read – And you thought YOU had a bad job?
Some pretty funny animations… this is what computer geeks get upto when bored! Animated GIFs with a variety of hilarious, funny, cute and some downright wierd effects.
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A little boy goes to his father and asks: “Daddy, how was I born?”
The father answers: “Well son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway!
Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo.
Then I setup a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive.
As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said:
You got a Male!
A collection of cartoons and animated pictures paying tribute to the computer / internet dominated world we live in today.
Eye halve a spelling chequer
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.
Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.
As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite
Its rare lea ever wrong.
Eye have run this poem threw it
I am shore your pleased two no
Its letter perfect awl the weigh
My chequer tolled me sew.
Caller: Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?
Operator: I’m sorry, sir, I don’t understand.
Caller: On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?
Those irritating mailing lists again!
Q: Gave my son my machine and bought a different machine. I want to install Windows XP onto it. Anyway of getting around the activation? Thanks in advance for any suggestions.
A: *sigh*. I thought everyone knew about the magic cabbage. Never mind, here goes.
It appears that the engineers built in a keyboard escape sequence that can be used to bypass the activation requestor. As long as you’re not a complete dope, you can probably do it.
You have to do this three times, rebooting the box each time as soon as the activation requestor appears:
Hold down CTRL and ALT Press the M-E-T-U-R-N-I-P keys in order Shutdown & Reboot
The third time the machine boots, you will be greeted with a list of vegetables. If you don’t see the list of vegetables, then you’ve made a mistake. Power off the machine and try again.
Click on the talking _cabbage_ icon. You’ll see lots of other talking vegetable icons BUT DON’T CLICK ON ANY OF THEM, especially the MUSHROOM!! (*sheesh*, I won’t try _that_ one again!)
Click the cabbage and a popup shows with a picture of an animated cabbage. It says “Hi, I’m the magic cabbage! I can make lots of things out of cabbage.
What would you like me to make today?” It actually talks to you in this silly voice and if you sit and watch, the vegetables in the background pick up musical instruments and start playing them! It’s completely nuts! The piano playing mushrooms are good though.
Anyway. Click on “Make me some soup.” Don’t click anything else, especially the “Make me a mashed xxx” options.
The cabbage will say, “Okay, what kind of soup?” in a stupid squeaky voice.
Now here’s the tricky bit. Click on the “Make me a soup out of the following ingredients” You must now select the vegetables in the correct order to make your soup (actually an activation key):
A bowl will appear into which you must drag a number of vegetables.
Ignore the cabbage whilst you do this (it dances around the screen urging you to pick tomatos and turnips. It says stupid stuff like “Wouldn’t you like a leek with that?” Or “A potato would go well with those ingredients,
wouldn’t it?” Just IGNORE IT!!”)
Drag the following vegetables into the bowl:
2 tomatos
1 Parsely
5 green beans
Then click the magic cabbage. The screen will go black and then the magic cabbage will fade into view with a little chef’s hat on and it will say “Would monsieur like anything to go with ‘eez soup?” in a stoopid french
accent and it will *wink* at you. Click “Oui” and select “Une Activation Key Pour Moi!”
The screen will go black *again*. And the magic cabbage will fade into view this time wearing a Zorro mask and it says. “Eh Amigo, if joo believe in thee majeek cabbage, then joo is loco. Thee majeek cabbage ees jus a meeth.” in a stupid mexican accent. Don’t worry about it, just click on the cabbage’s mask and the activation instructions will be displayed.
Oh BTW let us know if you see the magic turnip. Someone says they found it one day and it offered to burn a CDROM for them.
The day Microsoft makes something that doesn’t suck is probably the day they start making vacuum cleaners.
In 1985, someone sent me chain mail, and he immediately died in a tragic boating accident involving a pier and his genitals. Authorities ruled it a suicide under suspicious circumstances. In 1993, someone received a chain letter and chose not to send it to me. The next morning, she woke up feeling strangely refreshed, almost as if a total stranger had come into her room in the night and given her head resulting in a baker’s dozen worth of orgasms. Send this to everyone you know and let’s see if we can send it around the world nine times and get it to those goddamn kids in Germany.
> You find yourself interrupting computer store salesmen to correct something they say.
> You’ve named your computer.
> You have your local computer store on speed dial.
> You can’t carry on a conversation without talking about computers.
> Co-workers have to e-mail you about the fire alarm to get you out of the building.
> You’ve ever found “stray” diskettes when doing laundry.
> Your computer has it’s own phone line – but your teenager doesn’t.
> You check the national weather service web page for current weather conditions (rather than look out the window).
> You know more URLs than street addresses.
> Your pet has a web page.
> You get really excited when Yahoo adds your link.
> The tech support folks at your ISP call YOU for the tough ones.
> You have more than one copy of the same version of software on your machine.
> You have ever chatted with someone while talking to them on the phone.
> You are surprised that there are other real foods besides pizza.
> You have ever sent E-mail to someone sitting next to you.
> You have ever had a dream involving computers.
> You have ever modified an .ini file.
> You would sell your grandmother for more bandwidth.
> You start tilting your head sideways to smile.
> You have ever e-mailed yourself.
> You get up at 3:00AM to go to the bathroom and stop to check your E-mail on your way back to bed.
> You’ve entered that USR X2 contest so many times you get e-mail saying “Forget it, Mike you are not going to win, just go buy the modem”.
> You know what the USR X2 contest is.
There was a pilot flying a small single engine charter plane, with a couple of very important executives on board. He was coming into Seattle airport through thick fog with less than 10m visibility when his instruments went out. So he began circling around looking for landmark. After an hour or so, he starts running pretty low on fuel and the passengers are getting very nervous. Finally, a small opening in the fog appears and he sees a tall building with one guy working alone on the fifth floor. The pilot banks the plane around, rolls down the window and shouts to the guy “Hey, where am I? To this, the solitary office worker replies “You’re in a plane.” The pilot rolls up the window, executes a 275 degree turn and proceeds to execute a perfect blind landing on the runway of the airport 5 miles away. Just as the plane stops, so does the engine as the fuel has run out.
The passengers are amazed and one asks how he did it. “Simple” replies the pilot, “I asked the guy in that building a simple question. The answer he gave me was 100 percent correct but absolutely useless, therefore that must be Microsoft’s support office and from there the airport is just a while away.”
A woman is helping her computer-illiterate husband set up his computer, and tells him that he will now need to choose and enter password that he wants to use when logging on.
The husband, thinking he’ll be oh-so-manly, types in the following letters when prompted for his desired password by the computer. p – e – n – i – s
His wife rolls her eyes and then nearly falls off her chair howling with laughter when the computer replies: PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH.