The Man Rules - Ladies please hear this!
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down! Finally, the guys’ side of the story ( I must admit, it’s pretty good) We always hear ‘ the rules ‘ from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side:
These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered ‘1 ‘ ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say ‘nothing,’ We will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, Expect an answer you don’t want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine… Really .
1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football or cars.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don’t mind that? It’s like camping.
Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh.
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February 20th, 2008 at 11:12 pm
hahaha thats funny… by the way im a girl and i pretty much agree with everything you said, including the toilet part its just as easy for us to put it down when we use it as it is for you to put it up when you do
February 20th, 2008 at 11:13 pm
i love RUDY FERENTINO
February 21st, 2008 at 2:00 am
what ever! if you think this, you dont love ur girl.
February 27th, 2008 at 5:59 am
I like most of these rules except the one about guys not doing the sympathy thing and that’s what g/f’s are for, it’s really shitty to know that something is wrong and even though we don’t say it- this just shows that you don’t care. some of these are asshole-ish, others are actually on the mark.
March 6th, 2008 at 12:24 am
this is totally true i agree especially the one about the toylet
March 14th, 2008 at 12:26 am
yea.yea. just remember who went through 48 hours of labour with u. the one who is always cleaning up arter u. the one that is always trying her best to forgive ur sorry ass wheneva u do something wrong. the one who noes she can kill u with a flick of a wrist and trys her best to hold tempation. n finaly the one who makes u dinner. the dinner that u have absolutly no idea what or who it contains…lol. hope i didnt scare u or anything.=)
March 17th, 2008 at 10:54 pm
FUNNY! Very funny! Those are great rules, and I totally agree with almost all of them. But I’m a girl and i do have a few problems with a few of those rules. For example: Sympathy is what guys are partly for. If we didn’t want your symapthy or your love, than we wouldn’t be with you. Second of all, a girl can never have too many shoes or clothes. Mind you, we wish that you had enough courage to say what you really feel without being scared of the consequences. We won’t hurt you, we promise…
March 23rd, 2008 at 2:17 pm
I don’t agree with some of these like for instance cars and sports aren’t just it, you forgot SEX, guns, and of course video games=]
Also to whnayed: I’m willing to bet you girl friend or wife read this and you just posted to score points? If not: move to Florida with your gay friends ^_^
March 26th, 2008 at 2:26 pm
jus gota say m8…….well played!!! 1 about the toilet,so true.
March 27th, 2008 at 1:32 pm
love it its like the mans bible to dealling with their wifes,girlfreind and just women in general love it!!!!!!!! cheers man
April 23rd, 2008 at 2:56 am
That’s FUNNY! But I’m glad I’m a Lesbian!!!! 4 those reasons exactly! Ha, ha!
April 23rd, 2008 at 2:59 am
Ha, ha! That’s funny! But, seriously…I’m GLAD to be a LESBIAN!! For those particular reasons! LOL!
April 27th, 2008 at 12:34 am
Most are true except the sports. Seems like a silly waste of time for grown men to run around and chase a ball. Okay at least for them it’s fun, but for other grown men to actually WATCH that shit? I honestly can’t imagine anything more dull or boring. If I had free tickets and free transportation to the SuperBowl or World Series, I wouldn’t go. Cars are also boring. I would never discuss football or cars with anyone. I’m kinda tired of these jokes going around making it seem as if all men love lesbian porn, beer, sports, cars, and trucks. I am totally bored by all five. And yes, I’m straight and in a relationship.
May 2nd, 2008 at 3:43 am
your so ungreatful who are the ones who have to go through 9 months of pregnancy just to give birth to your sorry asses, US! you guys have to easy the least you can do is be a nice man.
May 10th, 2008 at 3:39 pm
women are women .. they don’t have rules .. .. they don’t follow they own rules .. !
May 18th, 2008 at 10:18 am
you say u r the ones given birh and we dont know what that feels like guess what its time to noticed they never kicken your ball
June 6th, 2008 at 6:04 pm
I totally agree with almost all of the rules and some of the comments especilly the toilet seat haha MINNTT
like Jordirt said we are who we are YOU CANT CHANGE THAT
June 11th, 2008 at 11:29 pm
If only they could say it straight, or say what they mean, life would be a lot easier for me.
June 27th, 2008 at 6:53 pm
Not only not following their own rules but most of the times they say so much stuff at once they become confused of their primary point. Get it clear in ur head first ladies!!! Thats why we will answer most questions w/ yes or no or with one word suchas fine, nothing, etc.
September 25th, 2008 at 8:04 pm
Hey, these rules are fine. But I’m sick of hearing women complain about the burden of pregnancy and childbirth. I CHOOSE to give birth to the children I CHOSE to conceive. Now, let’s talk about a father sharing some of the labor of child rearing, a much harder job than pregnancy OR birth. Besides gals, moms have so much influence, you give birth to your own guy, you can make him as “perfect” a man as you want him to be. Don’t like your guy, why not blame his mom?