The Layman’s Guide to Dating & Relationship Lingo

• ATTRACTION: The act of associating horniness with a particular person.
• LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT: What occurs when two extremely horny, but not entirely choosy people meet.
• DATING: The process of spending enormous amounts of money, time and energy to get better acquainted with a person whom you don’t especially like in the present and will learn to like a lot less in the future.
• BIRTH CONTROL: Avoiding pregnancy through such tactics as swallowing special pills, inserting a diaphragm, using a condom, and dating repulsive men.

• EASY: A term used to describe a woman who has the sexual morals of a man.
• EYE CONTACT: A method utilized by one person to indicate that they are interested in another. Despite being advised to do so, many men have difficulty looking a woman directly in the eyes, not necessarily due to shyness, but usually due to the fact that a woman’s eyes are not located in her chest.
• FRIEND: A person in your acquaintance who has some flaw which makes sleeping with him/her totally unappealing.
• INDIFFERENCE: A woman’s feeling towards a man, which is interpreted by the man to be “playing hard to get”.
• INTERESTING: A word a man uses to describe a woman who lets him do all the talking.
• IRRITATING HABIT: What the endearing little qualities that initially attract two people to each other turn into after a few months together.
• LAW OF RELATIVITY: How attractive a given person appears to be is directly proportionate to how unattractive your date is.
• NYMPHOMANIAC: A man’s term for a woman who wants to have sex more often than he does.
• SOBER: Condition in which it is almost impossible to fall in love.

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