Senior’s Sex Guide

· Put on your glasses. Double check that your partner is actually in bed with you.
· Set timer for 10 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.
· Set the mood with lighting. Turn them ALL OFF!
· Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin.
· Write partner’s name on your hand in case you can’t remember.
· Keep extra Polygrip close by so your teeth don’t end up under the bed.
· Have Tylenol ready in case you actually complete the act.
· Make all the noise you want. The neighbors are deaf too.
· If it works, call everyone you know with the good news.
Don’t even think about trying it twice.

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