You know its going to be a bad day ahead when…
> You wake up to realize your waterbed broke and then discover you don’t have a waterbed.
> You put your bra on backwards and it fits better.
> You call suicide prevention and they put you on hold.
> Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.
> You want to put on the clothes you wore home from the party and there aren’t any.
> You turn on the news and they are showing escape routes out of the city.
> Your twin sister or brother forgot your birthday.
> You wake up face down on the pavement.
> Your horn goes off accidentally and remains stuck as you follow a group of Hell’s Angels on the freeway.
> You walk to work and find your dress is stuck in the back of your pantyhose.
> You call your answering service and they tell you it’s none of your business.
> You put both contacts in one eye.
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