Corporate Lesson #1:
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A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her
shower. The doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and
runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door
neighbour. Before she says a word, Bob says, “I’ll give you £800 to drop
that towel.”
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in
front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her £800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets
to the bathroom, her husband asks, “Who was that?”
“It was Bob, the next door neighbour,” she replies.
“Great!” the husband says, “did he say anything about the £800 he owes me?”
Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit
and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent
avoidable exposure.
Corporate Lesson #2:
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A priest offered a lift to a nun. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing
her habit apart to reveal a shapely leg. The priest nearly had an accident.
After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand onto her thigh. The
nun said, “Father, remember Psalm 129?”
The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up
her thigh again. The nun once again said, “Father, please remember Psalm
129!”
The priest apologised. “Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.”
Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way. On his arrival at the
church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, “Go forth and seek
further up, you will find glory.”
Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss
a great opportunity.
Corporate Lesson #3:
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A sales rep, an administration clerk, and their manager are walking to lunch
when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The
Genie says, “I normally grant three wishes, but as there are three of you,
I’ll give each of you just one wish.”
“Me first! Me first!” says the admin. clerk. “I want to be in the Bahamas,
driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.”
Poof! She’s gone.
“Me next! Me next!” says the sales rep. “I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on
the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and
the love of my life by my side.”
Poof! He’s gone.
“OK, you’re up,” the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, “I want
those two back in the office after lunch.”
Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.
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